Jack is almost 4 months old....

Keelie says: I haven’t written in ages I know. Every time I think about something I might like to write I’m miles away from a computer or Jack intervenes. Besides which not much spectacularly noteworthy stuff is happening on a day-to-day basis. I take care of Jack, I shop, I cook, I change nappies, I clean, I drink coffee in cafes big enough to accommodate prams, I change nappies, I hang out with other new mums, I seek out baby changing rooms, I learn how to wrap, I sing songs, I pull faces, I change nappies...

On the other hand in Jack’s world things are changing in leaps and bounds. In four months he’s gone from a floppy, no-neck, snugly newborn to a rotund baby who can hold his head up, roll, chat, smile, even laugh (a surprisingly adult sounding laugh) and who can assert his own likes and dislikes. At last he can direct his arms and hands instead of just ineffectually waving them. It might not seem like much but when you watch your baby do something today that he couldn’t do yesterday it’s really impressive. Well it seems that way to me.

Things are much easier these days – for him and for us. He doesn’t freak out at every new thing and neither do we.

So how is motherhood? I remember my friend Ruth (Hi Ruth!) saying ‘it will change your life…but it changes for the better’. Which pretty much sums it up. She then added ‘of course you’re not going to go clubbing as much’. Also true.

Jack is a pleasure to hang out with. Of course he gets on my nerves now and then. Generally when he wants to do something that doesn’t fit in with what I want to do. But we spend 24 hours a day together – of course we’re going to have the odd spat.

Having a baby can make you question what kind of person you are. If babies learn by watching the big people around them does this mean I must strive to be a better version of myself so he doesn’t pick up all my crap habits?

And what about nature versus nurture? Is Jack a blank slate on whom we are imposing a personality or will his own nature emerge with or without help from us? When he wants something not immediately forthcoming and has a meltdown it’s very easy for me to say something like ‘ooh moody Jack – just like your father!’. But it’s quite normal for a baby with no concept of time and space to cry when his needs are not being met. If I keep on assuming he is moody (like his dad :) ) will I end up with a child that is moody only by my own creation? Or would he take after his dad in that regard anyway? It really doesn’t help that his dad watches with some degree of pride saying ‘that’s it son, welcome to the dark side’.

In a nutshell, it is completely absorbing to watch this little person developing from scratch. I get a kick out of watching him. I like the way he nuzzles his face into his toys when he sleeps. I like the way he smiles when we play with him. I love the little contented noises he makes when he feeds. I like the way he attacks the toys on his playmat. I like that he wakes up smiling with sweet milky breath, completely unphased by my non-milky, non-sweet breath!

He is adorably cute and he melts my heart. Which is just as well really because it balances out the times when he is ‘just like his dad’…

Here are some photos on facebook, one new album and two you may have already seen:

Jack in October II: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=172135&l=1cbff&id=855875421

Jack in October: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=168155&l=bb93f&id=855875421

If Jack were a sheep (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED VIEWING): http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=161225&l=d0765&id=855875421

Father's Day

As it was Father's Day last Sunday (in Oz) this weeks blog entry has been written by guest star writer Alexis Fischler, aka 'Daddy'. And no I didn't pay him to write such nice things!

Alexis says:

Two weekends ago was the first father’s day of my life as a dad. I woke up in the morning and went to toilet. When I came back to bed Jack was waiting for me with two presents aside. One was a book and the other one a swedish massage voucher. Although he couldn’t express it with words, I know he was as excited about it as I was. I’m amazed about how a little boy like him has inherited her mum’s accurate taste for great presents, and already is making the most of it.


It’s been only ten weeks since Jack was born. They say that when your experiences are very intense, time seems to stretch and last longer. I’d rate these last ten weeks among the longest in my life. I used to love to come home after work and catch up with Keelie. She’s a great girl and a brilliant cook. And I’m in love with her, lucky me. Nowadays, on top of those amazing gifts in life, I also catch up at home with Jack, a little boy that is growing, smiling, cuddling and learning so fast. He fills my heart with warmth and makes me happy in a way that I haven’t dreamt of before. Sometimes he cries a bit too, like now, but it’s only because he’s a bit tired and it’s time to go to bed. Keelie is reading him a book and he’s peaceful now. In a moment, his eyes will close and he will be fast asleep while Keelie and me have dinner. Happy times!

New photos on facebook here: http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=155138&l=9a176&id=855875421

The crying game

31 August 2008 – 8 weeks old

Jack says: Mis abuelos se fueron ayer y me puso triste de verlos partir. As you can see I’ve picked up un pocito de español. Ay ay ay!

We went to our first mother and baby group this week. I was asleep when we got there so mum left me in the pushchair. When I woke up I shouted across the room that I wanted to get up and join the fun but mum totally ignored me. The maternal health nurse told mum I was crying and when she finally came to get me she was all red in the face. Perhaps she’s teething?

Mum told me we should make a good impression so after feeding I did one of my best and loudest burps followed by a rapid, raspberry-sounding evacuation of my bowels. Mum looked really pleased with me.

I sat next to this kid called Daryl who was 13 weeks old although his ‘corrected’ age is 4 weeks cos he was born, like, really early. He was tiny next to me and his mum said I looked like the playground bully. The nurse lady explained how to raise a baby and I found it a bit strange because it isn’t really like that in my house.

Mum was a bit sad this morning because my godparents got married in France and it was too far away for us to go. I haven’t even got a passport yet. But we are going to visit them in January next year :)

Keelie says: Compared to some of the baby-crying horror stories I’ve read, Jack is a pretty easy baby (TOUCH HUGE BIT OF WOOD). We can’t complain about his nocturnal habits either. Asleep by 10pm and give or take a bit of wind and fidgeting, he sleeps until 8-9h. This is minus time for feeds of course but now we’ve both worked out how to feed lying down, he latches on, sups, rolls off and goes back to sleep.

So when he decides to spend most of his morning alternately crying, screaming and grizzling, it is incredibly exasperating. At least when there’s two of you, you can tag-team with the little monster. He’s starting to drool and bites down on my finger which is symptomatic of teething…but he’s 8 weeks old…so that can’t be right..can it? On the other hand he is the biggest baby in the mother’s group and is already wearing size 3-6 months clothes. I have spawned a monster! But when he coos and smiles it's the cutest thing ever so we'll keep him for now.

He is asleep now. Praise the lord.

We said goodbye to Alexis’ parents yesterday. I really enjoyed having them here. It’s lovely to see your baby with the grandparents because no one (apart from the parents of course) loves that child more. They also have buckets of patience and lots of experience – two qualities which babies love. When you’ve seen someone sing your crying baby to sleep over and over again you start to wish you could keep them in the back of the car full-time…

We have decided to enter Jack into the Guiness World Book of Records under ‘baby-who-has-most-circumnavigated-the-globe’ and have booked to go round the world again in Dec-Jan-Feb. At least I’ll get to use my silver Qantas card at last! Priority check-in here I come! Quite handy with a baby. Here are the dates:

29 Nov: Oz to BA

21 Dec: BA to London

10 Jan: London to Oz (Alexis)

17 Feb: London to Oz (Keelie & Jack)

What is everyone doing for new year???

Photos here: http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=149811&l=d2ef2&id=855875421

Six weeks today

Jack says: Grandma Jackie left last week which was a shame because she always seemed so happy to see me – even in the middle of the night!

Grandma and Grandpa, sorry, abuela and abuelo Fischler arrive on Sunday. I’m looking forward to brushing up on me espanol. Unfortunately I’ve got a small, dry, scaly patch on my forehead which is slightly embarassing. Mum says I look like an extra from Star Trek. People still coo over me so I must still look pretty cute.

Life is pretty good at the moment. My every whim is catered for. Sometimes it takes a while for the big people to understand my whims but they get there in the end. Hannah and Stew even bought me a tumble dryer!! Which is great because now my burp rags and blankets are soft against my delicate skin instead of crunchy.

I am really starting to get the hang of life on the outside. I am no longer afraid of my stroller. I do not need to be next to a warm body to fall asleep – although I do prefer it. I have learnt how to roll from my tummy onto my back. Luckily I was on the floor when I executed this manouevre. I have also discovered that I can scream really loudly which certainly gets their attention.

My vital stats:

Length: 56.5cm

Weight: 5250grams

Keelie says: It's been a good and bad week. I lost my home help but gained a job (some freelance writing - yey!). Jack got reflux but I got my Oz visa.

So I've been at home with Jack by myself desperately waiting for him to go to sleep so I can do some work. Reflux is like acid indigestion. Essentially it means trying to keep your baby upright for as long as possible after a feed and listening to him scream for anywhere between 10 minutes and 3 hours.

The experts say the most important thing you can do for your baby is respond to him with love. That way he knows he is important and can influence his environment. When faced with your own screaming baby, I've got about 30 minutes of love response time and the rest wavers between mild annoyance and full-blown anger. After about two hours I have to put him down in his bassinet, leave the room, go into the bedroom and shout 'SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!'. It is incredibly draining trying to make a screaming baby stop crying...I am responding to you and I am getting NOTHING back except more screams!

Eventually Alex comes home and takes over - relief! On Friday night out of sheer desperation we decided to put him in the stroller and head out to buy take-away. It was raining but we persevered for the sake of our sanity. Jack was asleep within minutes. We went to our favourite Greek restaurant and sat down to wait for our food. The waiter came up and commented that we had the best table in the house so it was ironic that we were leaving and suddenly the light bulb! We could eat here! If Jack wakes up we'll just pack up our food and go...three hours, one meat, platter, some red wine, some champs and a few baklavas later...happy parents! Jack even slept through the belly dancing show (not that he needs to see things like that at his tender young age) with very loud music.

The silver lining to crying fits we have discovered is that babies sleep long and hard afterwards. Small comfort when facing a small set of shaking tonsils but it's good to know there is a calm after the storm.

As an aside, the last time we ate in that restaurant it was with Ximena, Luis and Jen in November 07. We found out about the baby the day before. It was kind of strange to see the end result dozing aside our table months later...

The thing with having a baby is that while there are hundreds of books written on the subject, no one has managed to write a manual. Keeping Jack happy is mostly a process of elimination – is he hungry? Tired? Too hot? Too cold? Bored? Overstimulated? Wants a cuddle? Wants some time out? Or the worst possible option – he needs to let off some steam i.e. scream for England (or Australia in this case).

We’re moving into refined guesswork now. Mostly based on knowledge of his preceding activities. He hasn’t fed for 3 hours? He must be hungry!

The other thing to face as a parent is an astonishingly varied spectrum of opinions on how you should be raising your kids. From authors, health professionals, parents and anyone who knows anyone who ever had a baby…

‘They say that babies shouldn’t eat more than every 2.5 to 4 hours so if he’s trying to eat more often try spacing out his feeds. You can try distracting him between feeds’.

If I’m hungry I go to the fridge and fix myself a snack. I do not wave coloured toys in front of my face, put myself in a bouncy chair, sing or dance round the room in the hope that I will become less hungry. If Jack is crying two hours after a feed because he wants a top-up, it seems a bit mean to say ‘No Jack no. You’ve just eaten a full meal. Just because your stomach is the size of a ping-pong ball’. Maybe he likes to snack? If babies learn by imitation then it would be entirely natural based on the snack habits of his parents.

‘They say babies should follow a routine of eat-activity-sleep. After breastfeeding wake your baby so that he does not associate your breast with getting to sleep’.

I don’t know if you’ve seen a baby after a feed but it makes them reeeally sleepy. Erm, hello? My baby is asleep at last and you want me to wake him up so I can then get him back to sleep?? No thanks.

I figure the secret of baby books is to choose the one that supports your own views. I am reading a book by the excellently named Pinky McKay. She is in favour of co-sleeping, feeding on demand and she says it’s okay to let your baby nurse to sleep! So as I read her wise words I can nod my head smugly in agreement instead of thinking ‘oh shit I’m doing it all wrong’.

Alexis says: My life used to be so simple! What have I done?

Photos: http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=144266&l=37e85&id=855875421

One month today

Jack says: Today I am celebrating one month on the outside. It's been a crazy ride but it seems that the big people are finally starting to understand what I want. They go crazy for my smiles so I consider that as payment rendered for their services.

Grandma leaves on Friday - I'm going to miss all the cuddles. I wonder if the hairy one will move back into my bed? I hope the milky one doesn't melt down about the washing.

I would write more but I'm trying to adapt the milky one to my new hourly feeding schedule so I've got to go and eat some more.

Ciao people xx

The milky one has posted some more photos on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=140117&l=10de0&id=855875421

I am growing by the day

Jack says: Hello fans! Jack Fischler here. Had my weigh-in at the Maternal Health Centre today and have put on a massive 780g in the last two weeks. Almost double the average weight gain for my age group. The nice nurse lady gave me a gold star for being such a good eater. I have also grown by 4cm. No wonder those newborn clothes don’t fit me any more.

Grandma says when I’m hungry I sound like a pig snuffling for truffles. I don’t know exactly what that is but I’m sure it’s a good thing. Sometimes I eat so much I’m sick. I did the coolest projectile vomit the other night – all over the duvet, sheets and the feet of my babygro. Mum was seriously impressed and even changed my outfit to celebrate the occasion.

Although I have to say that since then I seem to be sucking on a dummy more often than a nipple. Mum called me a ratbag and Dad said that wasn’t a nice thing to call a baby. But Dad speaks with a funny accent and I don’t think he knows what a ratbag is.

Keelie says: Jack is still entertaining us and remains (on the whole) a placid little fellow. We are starting to get smiles which are amazing! He makes many strange noises and faces. At night he sleeps in with mum and me and keeps us amused with his varied range of sighs, snorts, grunts, and farts.

It still takes so long to get anything done at the moment. The most stressful aspects of baby rearing (for me) are currently as follows:

1) Getting me and Jack out of the house to be somewhere at a set time. Today it took approximately two and a half hours to make it to the Maternal Health Centre for 11.30. This is with the assistance of my mum who did the dishes, made breakfast, hung up the washing and kept an eye on Jack while I had a shower and got dressed. Jackie please don't leave!

2) Getting the washing done. In my mind there is a mountain of washing and if I don’t keep on top of it it will engulf me and I will drown in a sea of burp rags, bunny rugs and dirty baby clothes. Rainy days are a nightmare as we have no tumble dryer and our already crowded apartment resembles a Chinese laundry.

3) Working out whether ‘waaaaa’ means ‘I’m hungry’ or ‘I think I’m hungry but actually I might just need a nap’. If I get this wrong, it tends to result in vomit which is not helpful in my fight against the washing tsunami.

4) Waking up to find Jack has wet his suit and the bed sheet. After a brief struggle with my tired conscious (he’ll be fine – it’s only a bit damp) I get up, change everything and eye the washing mountain with increasing trepidation.

5) Changing Jack's nappy often enough to keep him poo-free but not so often that it (a) wakes him up, and (b) uses 24 nappies a day. Because that's pretty much how often poo comes out of him.

My mind is so full of baby things that it feels like there is no room to think about anything else. If I try and edge in a conversation on some other topic then something of prime importance will fall out the other side. Like remembering to get the washing in before it rains. Even a conversation about what day and time to go and see Batman at the cinema causes me stress.

I am assured that the magical six week mark is when it all falls into place. Less poo, toughened nipples, longer sleeps, an ability to identify your baby's different cries and the emergence of a routine which enables some level of planning in your day. More washing though I suspect.

This is also the target for resuming sexual activity - provided of course that your doctor gives you the all clear at your check-up. I have read reports of women returning home with a slightly amended version of the doctor's verdict: 'Hmm, the doctor says it will take a bit longer before sex is back on the menu. Yeah terrible news! He says maybe even as long as a year*...I know, I'm disappointed too. Honestly I am.'

*Time added on is proportional to the level of maternal tiredness.

More photos here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=138186&l=694bf&id=855875421

Grandma comes to town!

Jack is three weeks and one day old. Feels like he's been here for much longer.

Grandma Jackie arrived on Wednesday. After a brief but frustrating delay getting the luggage off the tarmac and a few tears in front of immigration:

Immi: What are you going to be doing here for 17 days?
Jackie: Meeting my grandson for the first time.
Immi: Oh how lovely!
Jackie: Yes...and I haven't seen my daughter since..(starting to lose it)..sob..sob..Christmas...

In view of the Qantas incident which happened two days later on the same plane and flight it could have been much worse. For those of you who don't know, an explosion tore a hole in the luggage hold of the plane. The pilot was forced to drop the plane by 20,000 feet as not all the gas masks were working and managed to land the plane in Manilla. If they had been further from land they would probably have crashed. Everyone survived but the luggage is being held as part of the investigation.

Mum brought my noooo Bugaboo stroller from England in a suitcase. Two days later and she could have ended up in Manilla with my new Bugaboo stroller being held as evidence. Either that or it might have ended up in a Philippino village (if you don't know what a Bugaboo is - like, where have you been??!).

Anyway she made it and is looking after us all. Apparently whatever you eat whilst breast-feeding, an hour later the baby gets a taste of that food. Which is how babies develop their palate. Jack is developing a very English palate having had a roast lamb milkshake tonight and an English fry-up milkshake this morning.

We are starting to get the hang of things here. For now, Jack's main hobbies remain mostly limited to sleeping and eating. He does also quite enjoy staring at faces and crying in his new stroller.

It is also very tiring. If you breastfeed and a feed takes up to an hour, and you feed 8 times a day, that's a full time job already! Any sleep you have is broken into 2-4 hour chunks. Combine that with nappy changes, picking out cute outfits, mopping up sick and getting him off to sleep. In between are brief windows for keeping on top of a mountain of dirty washing, taking a shower, eating and of course checking facebook and writing a blog. Well it doesn't leave much 'me' time.

Luckily he is just cute enough to ensure his ongoing participation in our family. It is amazing that a 3 week old can have such high entertainment value due to a incredibly wide range of facial expressions, strange sounds and just being generally adorable.

Thanks to our new babysitter Alexis and I went for our first post-birth dinner date yesterday. It was great! It didn't feel at all weird to leave the baby - quite the opposite. But I guess there's a big difference when you leave your baby with family. We hired an industrial breast pump so we could express a feed for him and escape for longer. There's nothing like having a baby attached to one nipple and pump to the other to make you feel more like a human cow. We came home to find Jack asleep on Grandma. Apparently she had spent most of the night unsuccessfully trying to get him to sleep in his bassinet. He would sleep for about ten minutes then wake up and realise he had yet again been palmed off and start crying. In the end she gave up and let him snuggle on her chest.

Too tired to write more.

More Jack piccys on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3565656&l=0bdd9&id=855875421

A day in the life of Jack Fischler - aged 14 and a half (days)

I wake up at about 9.30 and the warm, milky one that usually sleeps beside me is gone. I can hear her trying to make tea and toast really quickly in the kitchen and that reminds me that I’m ravenous so I let out a loud wail to make sure she knows I’m ready for breakfast too.

She comes back minus her breakfast and gives me kisses but right now I’m not interested. I only have one thing on my mind. It takes us a few goes but eventually I get what I want. Breakfast is served. Yum. I don’t know why but she always says ‘reeeeady…GO!’ when she tries to shove as much nipple in my mouth as possible.

A nice lady called Kate comes over and makes some fresh toast. I know this because I can feel warm crumbs dropping on my head as I eat.

Sometimes I like to have another sleep after breakfast but this morning I feel a bit lively so I’ll have a kick about on my mat and maybe a bit of a grizzle. I know the milky one is waiting for me to go to sleep because she keeps wrapping me up really tightly and rubbing my back. I believe she wants a shower but I think there’s better things we could be doing. Like elevenses.



Kate rubs my tummy in a very satisfying fashion while the milky one disappears. Feeling a bit hungry again…

I’m having trouble sleeping so she puts me in the baby carrier and takes me to the post office to pick up a parcel from Lizzie and Stu. It’s so snug and cosy that I soon drift off. I wake up in the bassinet which is very confusing. Not happy! And I’m desperately hungry again. The milky one comes to get me and after a few minutes we settle down for a nice feed. Then she takes me to bed and lets me fall asleep on her chest which is pretty much my favourite place to sleep.

When I wake up I’m bloody starving so we have dinner. It’s been a long day so before long I’m off in the land of nod again sleeping my way through the best part of the evening. I think I heard the warm, non-milky one come home – we’ll catch up later. I know he likes to stay up late and chat.

Peace!

Ten days old

I decided to attempt a blog to keep friends and family up-to-date with Jack's news. It's hard finding the time to email everyone individually so this is the next best thing I reckon. We'll see how it goes!

It's been a complete roller coaster since Jack arrived. The birth was incredibly intense - a most amazing experience. Although I did pretty much everything the way I wanted to I did feel like I let myself down in the last hour because I was begging the midwife to find another way to get him out. I felt like he was turning me inside out and instead of trying to go with the contractions I fought them all. Which ultimately made it harder for me and more stressful for Jack. He cried for a good ten minutes after I finally ejected the little so-and-so and I think it was because it was taking such a long time for him to get through the birth canal. But then he settled down and spent some quiet time staring at me and Alexis. It was mind-blowing. And all accompanied by a cocktail of hormones designed to make you fall in love with the strange little being that has been bumping around in my stomach for the past few months.

With a bit of hindsight and having spoken to other women about their birth experience I now feel quite lucky. Minimum intervention and a pretty happy baby. So far anyway!

The first night in hospital wasn't a great nights sleep. They say newborns sleep like a log the first night but Jack has obviously not read that page of the baby manual. I was sharing a room and awoke to hear a baby coughing and choking and I thought to myself 'why doesn't that woman help her baby?'. When the sleep fog cleared a little I realised it was Jack choking on a bit of mucous. Oops. A mother just knows her baby's cries.

Alex arrived in the morning to a picture of maternal bliss - me asleep and Jack asleep beside me in my arms. On closer inspection he enquired 'what happened? you look really tired...'

Since then, all I've managed to do is hang on for the ride. I am veering between two extremes: tears because I want someone to take him away and tears because I feel such a depth of love for him it knocks me sideways.



Jack is ten days old today. He has been asleep most of today which is unfortunate as we went to breastfeeding school and he only fed twice while we were there. Hopefully he learns by osmosis.

Breastfeeding, as it turns out, is not as easy as it looks. My very sore nipples recoil in fear every time Jack snuffles for a feed. On the plus side I can get milk to squirt out of my nipples - a neat party trick (not that we go to many parties). AND just thinking about breastfeeding, or in this case, writing about breastfeeding makes them start leaking - amazing! Today at school this other lady's baby started to wail for a feed and hey presto! breasts are a leakin!

He is still asleep now at 18.01. I have to keep checking he's breathing. I am afraid for tonight. Can a baby sleep all day and all night?? I hope he keeps to his usual pattern of feed-sleep-feed-sleep-feed-sleep-feed. That way I can get 8 hours of sleep albeit in increments of 2-4 hours.

I put a few more pics on facebook today:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=132628&l=9b92d&id=855875421