Jack is almost 4 months old....
Keelie says: I haven’t written in ages I know. Every time I think about something I might like to write I’m miles away from a computer or Jack intervenes. Besides which not much spectacularly noteworthy stuff is happening on a day-to-day basis. I take care of Jack, I shop, I cook, I change nappies, I clean, I drink coffee in cafes big enough to accommodate prams, I change nappies, I hang out with other new mums, I seek out baby changing rooms, I learn how to wrap, I sing songs, I pull faces, I change nappies...
On the other hand in Jack’s world things are changing in leaps and bounds. In four months he’s gone from a floppy, no-neck, snugly newborn to a rotund baby who can hold his head up, roll, chat, smile, even laugh (a surprisingly adult sounding laugh) and who can assert his own likes and dislikes. At last he can direct his arms and hands instead of just ineffectually waving them. It might not seem like much but when you watch your baby do something today that he couldn’t do yesterday it’s really impressive. Well it seems that way to me.
Things are much easier these days – for him and for us. He doesn’t freak out at every new thing and neither do we.
So how is motherhood? I remember my friend Ruth (Hi Ruth!) saying ‘it will change your life…but it changes for the better’. Which pretty much sums it up. She then added ‘of course you’re not going to go clubbing as much’. Also true.
Jack is a pleasure to hang out with. Of course he gets on my nerves now and then. Generally when he wants to do something that doesn’t fit in with what I want to do. But we spend 24 hours a day together – of course we’re going to have the odd spat.
Having a baby can make you question what kind of person you are. If babies learn by watching the big people around them does this mean I must strive to be a better version of myself so he doesn’t pick up all my crap habits?
And what about nature versus nurture? Is Jack a blank slate on whom we are imposing a personality or will his own nature emerge with or without help from us? When he wants something not immediately forthcoming and has a meltdown it’s very easy for me to say something like ‘ooh moody Jack – just like your father!’. But it’s quite normal for a baby with no concept of time and space to cry when his needs are not being met. If I keep on assuming he is moody (like his dad :) ) will I end up with a child that is moody only by my own creation? Or would he take after his dad in that regard anyway? It really doesn’t help that his dad watches with some degree of pride saying ‘that’s it son, welcome to the dark side’.
In a nutshell, it is completely absorbing to watch this little person developing from scratch. I get a kick out of watching him. I like the way he nuzzles his face into his toys when he sleeps. I like the way he smiles when we play with him. I love the little contented noises he makes when he feeds. I like the way he attacks the toys on his playmat. I like that he wakes up smiling with sweet milky breath, completely unphased by my non-milky, non-sweet breath!
He is adorably cute and he melts my heart. Which is just as well really because it balances out the times when he is ‘just like his dad’…
Here are some photos on facebook, one new album and two you may have already seen:
Jack in October II: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=172135&l=1cbff&id=855875421
Jack in October: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=168155&l=bb93f&id=855875421
If Jack were a sheep (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED VIEWING): http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=161225&l=d0765&id=855875421
