Look who's talking

Me!



Mum and I are swotting up for my 18-month check-up/exam at the local maternal health centre. At the 12-month test I failed to meet the requisite standard for 'responds to basic instructions'. I did however pass with flying colours the 'looks at parent blankly when asked to respond to basic instructions'. Heavy weighs the social shame of that kindly meant word 'developing' instead of a confident tick from the scary old nurse.

We're feeling pretty confident about the upcoming exam except for 'points to eyes, nose and mouth'. I have been known to occasionally point at my nose upon request but eyes and mouth - no idea.

We've been brushing up on my language skills. I expect I will remain resolutely silent during the test to make mum feel like she is lying but for your benefit dear reader here is my 17 month word list prepared by my loving mother:

1) Mama - used generically for all adults (male or female).

Pointing at large and random man in the street: "Mama!"

2) Papa - saved for Daddy - when he is not being called Mama.
3) Gouledigotte - yoghurt for the uninitiated
4) Cracker - often pronounced cacka
5) Shaaaa - Shoes
6) Milk - okay he doesn't say this out loud, he signs it. Basically pump your right hand like milking a cow.
7) More - the classic
8) No - said often, very politely and accompanied by side to side nodding. Used to represent yes at times.
9) O - dog
10) A - water
11) Belly - pointing to belly. He may not know his eyes from his a*hole but at least the kid knows his own belly.
12) Baby - used sometimes to refer to himself in photos and also for his collection of political teddies (Harold Holt, Tony Bear and Teddy Roosevelt).
13) Naana - from the well known fruit, the banana, but in this instance used to represent all food stuffs.

In a nutshell I am very fricken smart! I must get it from Mama, I mean Papa who became a fully qualified architect last month. Way to go Dad!